So, it's been ages since my last post. so maybe, i thought of posting one again since my emotions are all mixed right now. The thing is, I was at my friend's house and she a has a boyfriend and you know, I dont. I dont really want one actually but the thing is it does get to me sometimes, knowing that you're all alone with no one to love you and all that, and it does make me feel way more insecure than I already am actually,and also knowing that nobody likes me. I know, it's not like everyone in this world has a boyfriend but all my friends do and even if it's not a boyfriend maybe some people like them and adore them and I know I'm gonna regret ever posting this and all my friends are pretty and thin and pretty and I'm always the spoiler in the group photo with my ugly face and my being fat and all that. Does it ever occur to anyone that it's unfair that only certain people get to be loved and/or liked because they're beautiful and thin and noticeable and popular. Plus, they say love is blind, then why dont some people get to be loved? Why does society only choose pretty and skinny girls and popular ones to be chosen out of all the others. It's just so unfair. Society is super cruel like, cant it be fair and everyone gets a piece of what makes them happy not just perfect people though.
And with everyone having someone to make their day and make them smile, it does get to me really bad and listening to all those songs about love and about someone you care about, i kind of feel like I'm nothing to this world. I don't feel like I'm needed, I don't feel like I'll someday get noticed or smiled at or recognised like how i recognise some people who dont ven remember they've ever even met me. I really dont want to change myself for people and i want people to know me for who I am and what I do but I dont think it's even possible so the question is, am I the only one going through all of this. I know some people are going through this too but how am I supposed to know them if society doesn't want us to be known. I'm not the type of girl who's pretty or cute or funny or that sociable. I dont even think my schoolmates know I go there. I'm not that girl who gets stared at even if she just walks by, people dont even look at me if I've done something that'll probably get their attention. All I know is, they'll only remember me for the embarrassing things that come my way and they'll still forget my name but remember the things i dont want them to. What good am I to this world anyway? It's just the same if I live in a hole and get stepped on, people still won't realize I'm there.
xx hasya
